The phrase sleep training often brings cringing thoughts of sobs and tears to parents, and many simply can’t imagine letting their baby cry on his own to fall asleep. Of course, rocking him or nursing him to sleep every night for the next three years isn’t such a great option either. So where does that leave parents who realize babies should learn to sleep on their own, but don’t want to make baby cry?

Books dealing with exactly these sorts of sleep methods are extremely popular. This means many parents are looking to find an alternative route to helping their child sleep through the night without constant feedings and comfort sessions. While most of the published plans differ slightly, they have common elements. These elements include:

Starting early.
A newborn baby is much more likely to fall asleep without a fuss than a toddler, so instead of rocking him into sleepy oblivion every time, lay him down when drowsy and let him fall asleep himself. Stay consistent and your baby will be way ahead of the game. You might not even need to do anything else!

Rock and repeat.
The basic problem with babies that don’t fall asleep on their own is they would rather you do the hard work for them. After all, wouldn’t you like to be snuggled to sleep every two hours when you woke slightly? Many babies also don’t realize they can fall asleep without assistance, so you simply have to show them.

Comfort your baby to the point that he’s drifting off, and then get up and put him in the crib. He might nod off on his own, but more likely he’ll spring up and call out for you. Pick him up again with no words or eye contact. Rock and repeat. Eventually you’ll wear him down to the point that he’s too relaxed and worn out to argue and he’ll just fall asleep. The first time might take hours, but each session will get dramatically shorter until he realized what role he’s supposed to play in the “fall asleep” game.

Too often parents become the last priority in a household, especially if you work or have a spouse who works long hours. Being on duty all day, every day is exhausting, and even the most patient and diligent parent needs a break sometimes. Well before you feel yourself reaching a breaking point, seek out time for yourself.

Cancel Your Evening Plans
Nights should be yours. Get your children to bed at an early hour and take some time to yourself to hang out around the house. If you must do chores, do them in your own way – sip a margarita while you clean the kitchen. Cry over the latest drama series while you fold laundry. Practice salsa dancing while you pick up toys. And as soon as you’re done, kick back and do your own thing exclusively.

Throw in a Movie
The hardest time for many parents is when their child stops napping during the day. Going without this break in the action can be tough. Enforce a quiet time after lunch, regardless of whether he naps, and then pop in a video to give yourself a bit more time to sit down and relax – you’ll just be doing it with your child.

Investigate Day Schools
Many churches and community centers offer day schools or Mothers-Day-Out programs for children younger than preschoolers. Look around in your area to see if your children can play with friends for a few hours a couple times a week so you can go to the grocery store in peace.