Watching a toddler eat can turn even the hardest stomach. Young toddlers use their fists and fingers to smash all kinds of food into their little mouths, and older toddlers are often not much better. But the mess young children make while eating is not a sign that they shun table manners. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Most children want to learn to eat properly, but they also want to eat quickly. Learning to use utensils is a long process that starts in infancy and won’t be perfected for years.

Early Self-Feeding

The earliest self feeding is often a cracker held in a tiny fist. But your child might also try to grab your spoon and feed himself during meals. Offer your child a spoon to keep him off yours, but also to let him practice getting the spoon into his mouth properly. This is the first step in the long process of using utensils.

Learning to Use Utensils

Often a toddler will know how to use utensils properly well before he actually can use them correctly on a daily basis. Scooping food neatly with a spoon and getting it into your mouth is hard work, and most toddlers decide their fingers are the better option. Like all things toddler, pushing a child too hard can cause more harm than good. Rather than forcing your child to use a fork or spoon before he’s ready, simply provide the utensils at every meal and praise him lavishly when he does stab meat with the fork or scoop yogurt with the spoon.

Remind your child that the utensils are available for his use, but don’t force the issue. If you’re ready to see finger foods disappear, make it a point to serve foods that must be eaten with a spoon such as yogurt, soups and puddings. Your child will have to use utensils to eat his favorite treats, and perhaps he’ll grow more accustomed to the feel of a fork and spoon in his hand. Expect your toddler to use utensils sparingly at first and then with increasing accuracy as he grows. Some children are using utensils consistently by two and a half or three; others prefer finger foods until closer to four.

Tips for Using Utensils

To help your child use utensils, make it as simple as possible for him to practice. When you want him to use a spoon, offer him a sticky pudding or yogurt and show him how to dip the spoon in and pull it back out leaving the food stuck to the spoon without bothering to scoop. Once the dip action is learned, move on to scooping stews and ice creams, but leave peas and thin soups to more experienced eaters.

You may find that the fork is the easier utensil for your child to learn to use. A fork requires a stabbing motion which is simple for most children. Provide your child with food chunks that are easy to stab but won’t fall off the fork such as cheese cubes or hot dog pieces. Be sure to cut the pieces large enough that the fork handler can get one when he’s trying.